I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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