i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
