You're completely useless in the revolution.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
