I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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