I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
