I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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