He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize