Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
