i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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