Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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