I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
