you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I smell like Dick and happiness
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
