i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
