so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
