Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Randomize
