I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
