I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize