Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
