i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
