We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
