Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
