I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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