I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He did a backflip because drugs
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