My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
