The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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