going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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