Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
love makes seman taste better
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
