You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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