In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I AM VODKA MAN
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
