I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
