dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
