I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
