they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
