i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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