You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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