You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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