Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize