she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
