The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
