i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
