I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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