They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize