well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Ketchup is God's man juice
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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