I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
porn star boner night. come get it.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize