just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize