You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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