she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
