WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
