worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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