Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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