What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
