It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
