I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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