apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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