if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
