So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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