no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
