just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
