That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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